Acting White: Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don't

Many commenter’s on the Gates affair, here and elsewhere, have said that the professor was too quick to take offense at the tone and manner of Officer Crowley’s approach, and perhaps they are correct. They ask why didn’t he just ignore police gruffness and ‘turn the other cheek’, or just say no big deal? For the record, this benefit of the doubt approach definitely has its merits, but it is not without its own costs, as my memory recalls.

Many years ago, I had the six-month occasion of a weekly Boston to SFO commute. One Monday morning at the ticket counter, I entered the first class and ‘Premier’ flyer line, behind at least five others, and ahead of more. At some point an agent surveyed the line, came around the counter, and approached me. Speaking only to me, she asked if I was either first class or premier status, and I answered yes. She then asked to see my premier card, which I showed her, whereupon she returned to the counter. She questioned no one ahead or behind me in line.

Now I did not have to wonder why she had singled me out of the group, as this ‘special treatment’ was nearly-typical for me over the 100,000 miles I logged that particular year, but that morning I decided that I should turn the other cheek. Besides, I had been through this drill so many times; frankly I was just too tired to mount a ‘campaign’ to set things straight, that day.

After about a minute had passed, the older gentleman directly in front of me, turned and gave me a stern lecture that was much more painful than the profiling of the ticket agent. He began by saying the agent had not asked anyone ahead of me for proof they were in the correct line. He asked me if I had realized that the agent had singled me out because I’m black, wherein I answered yes I had, but he wasn't done. Why do you let someone treat you this way young man? Do you not have self-respect for you or your people? You must stand-up for yourself or others will never have respect for you, he declared. Wow, body-slammed by an old white guy at 7 am!

I calmly beckoned the ticket agent to return and told her to retrieve her supervisor, as we needed to have a ‘chat’. When the supervisor arrived I tongue-lashed him good for the treatment by the agent. He took it well and apologized profusely, repeating that it was not company policy to single anyone out in this manner. I hoped that the supervisor would not object, as I sensed my instigator was ready to pounce in that instant. I accepted the apology and sent the two on their way. I then looked at the old white man, whose arms were still folded, but now under a smug-grin, and I said, “satisfied?” He nodded agreement and we went our separate ways. But I went away thinking I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t – and just perhaps this is a little of the maddening feeling that came over the good professor that day in Cambridge.

James C. Collier

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