Ghana Suffers Futbol’s Folly

At the risk of having the whole sporting world mad at me, I will make some newbie-World-Cup-fan observations about football/soccer. My preface – I am only an end-of-season grid-iron football fan, as antics of US players are just too annoying for me, so perhaps age has thinned my skin. My focus here is on the rules, drama, and cheating, and how futbol reflects the world stage. I claim no providence, and I‘m sure some life-long futbol fans will set me straight, no problem.

My wide-angle lens observes that the Africans and upper Europeans play a similar rule-based game, while lower Euros and Latinos, play trick-the-ref, and see futbol as a way to break into soap drama (All My Children). Between faking mortal wounds and claims of innocence drenched in bloodstained-guilt, I think I’m watching Kobe and Paul Pierce. And don’t get me started on certain religious members making the sign of the cross after, and/or, before they have tripped their opponent onto his face. I suppose this is done with the foot of God – God’s hand is a different topic.

Early on, I dismissed the correlation between a country’s adherence to the rule of law and their on-field behavior, as it did not explain the good behavior of the Africans. However, upon inspection, all the African teams, save Algeria, have outrageously expensive Euro-coaches who, I would expect, threaten to yank players immediately if they fall into smarmy field antics, which would embarrass the paler folks back home. So the rule of law does apply.

Moving on, how can one referee be expected to keep track of all these guys running around on such a big-ass playing field? The players wait for the lone ref’s distraction to safely get in the first opposing pop, hoping that he sees the retaliation and whips out the red card. I pulled this crap on my sister everyday of my early childhood, until mom and dad teamed up and busted my scrawny ass.

The killer for me is the out-and-out cheating. The handballs, by way of flailing arms, to trade a sure-thing goal for a penalty kick. WTH! Ghana got severely robbed by Uruguay. That was not the hand of God that stopped that ball, but rather the cheating hand of Luis Suarez. Granted, the rules worked as designed, but Uruguay shamelessly exploited a gaping loop-hole to send Ghana packing. Somewhere above God is saying, “leave me and my hands out of it”! In futbol, cheaters can and do prosper.

OK all you futbol fans, let me have it (English preferred or Pontiff (pseudo-sanitized) Latin).

James C. Collier

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