Acting White: The Top Ten Things Tiger Woods Now Knows (or Remembers)

10. White women can act just as crazy as the sisterhood of exhaling flat irons.

9. “I saw the tree, I was fine, but where the hell did that hydrant come from?”

8. When a woman has your babies, her attitude sure can get funky in a hurry.

7. “Let’s see, crashed Caddy, crazed wife, police at the door – I really AM Black!”

6. “My angry driving sucks, I bet Jack Nicklaus would not of choked like that”.

5. “Yeah, she was trying to rescue me alright. More like lining up a clean shot at the Woods family jewels".

4. “Keep it in the pants, son, keep it in the pants.” (Earl Woods)

3. “The next Escalade will have the sports-suspension package, or somebody’s getting fired.”

2. “I should have said I had insomnia and was hitting the all-night driving range. Damn-it Tiger, get your head in the game!”

1. Hmmm… a ‘crazy bitch’ panic-room is sounding kind of good right now.



James C. Collier

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