Acting White: The Bottom Line on Sex

Whether it's Tiger and Elin, or Joe and Suzy Plainbread, the issue of sex, and all that follows is the same. For women, sex is mostly a means to an end. For men, sex is an end unto itself - momentary pleasure. This is evidenced in our memories. Men can barely remember sex five minutes after having it, hence the relentless search. Years later, a woman can tell you every detail, and how each occurrence advanced an objective (love, marriage, children, security, gifts, etc.) Woman will forgo sex if there is no end to justify it, while men pursue it constantly since they can't see beyond it.

As long as men and women remember these governances, they are okay. However, if either forgets, as Tiger did, all hell is going to breaks loose. He did not make this rule, but it applies to him all the same, whether he is the world's number one golfer, or its number one idiot (or both).

With sex, as with other challenges, success demands working together. Men need women to continuously remind men that there is more to life than sex, while providing it nonetheless. Alternately, women need men who are humble about their own genetically baked-in forgetfulness.

Lastly, if you are wondering how you are doing with your mate. Women should ask themselves how often you surprise him with a 'roll-in-the-hay-fest'. Guys should ask themselves the same question, but make it a 'cuddle-fest'. If either of you says never, or not recently, you had better check those cell phone logs because someone else might be taking up the slack in your game. Straight-up asking is OK too, if you understand that everybody lies.

James C. Collier

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